You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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