i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
