32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
