At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
