his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Randomize
