I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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