Texts From Last Night

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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper

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  (612): i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper http://tfl.nu/3dw5
  Replies (27) Good night (611) Bad night (3838)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.

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  (610): Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon. http://tfl.nu/dlc4
  Replies (21) Good night (2835) Bad night (2354)
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  (707): View more from California

  yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.

  (1-707): View more from California

  you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you

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  (707): yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her. (1-707): you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you http://tfl.nu/2wdi
  Replies (15) Good night (798) Bad night (5139)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.

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  (703): I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin. http://tfl.nu/zjl9
  Replies (6) Good night (3497) Bad night (1056)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting

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  (702): Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting http://tfl.nu/9kwe
  Replies (7) Good night (1962) Bad night (971)
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  (925): View more from California

  she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"

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  (925): she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob" http://tfl.nu/t96e
  Replies (15) Good night (4562) Bad night (954)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa

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  (972): honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa http://tfl.nu/ld2g
  Replies (7) Good night (1486) Bad night (1042)
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  (310): View more from California

  I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis

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  (310): I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis http://tfl.nu/97wg
  Replies (22) Good night (2001) Bad night (718)
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  (559): View more from California

  well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"

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  (559): well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle" http://tfl.nu/25nv
  Replies (7) Good night (930) Bad night (2497)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  You fucked her?! HER?!

  (1-205): View more from Alabama

  She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.

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  (205): You fucked her?! HER?! (1-205): She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir. http://tfl.nu/jld9
  Replies (6) Good night (3646) Bad night (666)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.

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  (404): I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers. http://tfl.nu/2ka7
  Replies (1) Good night (1369) Bad night (484)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable

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  (617): I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable http://tfl.nu/uhd1
  Replies (8) Good night (1845) Bad night (633)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper

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  (440): Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper http://tfl.nu/949l
  Replies (4) Good night (793) Bad night (377)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?

  (1-902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.

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  (902): Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on? (1-902): I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over. http://tfl.nu/3b2m
  Replies (8) Good night (429) Bad night (765)
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.

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  (563): Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful. http://tfl.nu/zyvu
  Replies (2) Good night (589) Bad night (185)

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