Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?