Texts From Last Night

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  (619): View more from California

  I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.

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  (619): I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe. http://tfl.nu/jto0
  Replies (24) Good night (4364) Bad night (691)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.

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  (973): Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie. http://tfl.nu/rlm3
  Replies (20) Good night (2541) Bad night (714)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.

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  (919): I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen. http://tfl.nu/75lv
  Replies (32) Good night (1483) Bad night (2966)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy

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  (513): She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy http://tfl.nu/sgsn
  Replies (25) Good night (834) Bad night (5096)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this

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  (610): Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this http://tfl.nu/fwmk
  Replies (29) Good night (17437) Bad night (1327)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.

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  (850): We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival. http://tfl.nu/h8q9
  Replies (2) Good night (2659) Bad night (844)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.

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  (978): Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant. http://tfl.nu/4fg6
  Replies (40) Good night (1117) Bad night (6580)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.

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  (907): Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina. http://tfl.nu/hpd0
  Replies (36) Good night (2778) Bad night (884)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.

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  (317): Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid. http://tfl.nu/n6yk
  Replies (5) Good night (1262) Bad night (1437)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.

  (1-517): View more from Michigan

  fuck our hall.

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  (517): the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story. (1-517): fuck our hall. http://tfl.nu/9mns
  Replies (7) Good night (642) Bad night (1647)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!

  (386): View more from Florida

  Gravity is no match for my libido

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  (407): That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work! (386): Gravity is no match for my libido http://tfl.nu/l272
  Replies (2) Good night (957) Bad night (369)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.

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  (902): In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts. http://tfl.nu/zdfo
  Replies (3) Good night (1137) Bad night (348)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.

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  (804): hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too. http://tfl.nu/g160
  Replies (4) Good night (1310) Bad night (353)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.

  (302): View more from Delaware

  Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"

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  (302): Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite. (302): Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing" http://tfl.nu/v00f
  Replies (3) Good night (1137) Bad night (370)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?

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  (973): He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right? http://tfl.nu/vsli
  Replies (7) Good night (388) Bad night (731)

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