Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Randomize
