bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
