If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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