I didn't shave. On purpose
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
