forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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