That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
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