At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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