I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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