I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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