17 year olds will be the death of me.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize