piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
