Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
