Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
