I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
