Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
