So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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