found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
