Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
