? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Randomize
