your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Randomize
