Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
