hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
