Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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