Do you still have your period?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize