PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
