We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Randomize
