quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Randomize
