Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
True strength comes from lack of pants
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
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