I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
