We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Randomize
