Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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