i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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