my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
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i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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