but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it