Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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