if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
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