dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
We had sex on a dog bed..
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
