she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
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I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
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My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes