Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
