Texts From Last Night

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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.

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  (919): his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more. http://tfl.nu/6a2v
  Replies (15) Good night (1079) Bad night (4132)
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  (516): View more from New York

  everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.

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  (516): everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no. http://tfl.nu/bnsc
  Replies (85) Good night (4375) Bad night (1361)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.

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  (201): Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man. http://tfl.nu/hm6h
  Replies (4) Good night (3404) Bad night (962)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!

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  (513): the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS! http://tfl.nu/o380
  Replies (49) Good night (3241) Bad night (5227)
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  (415): View more from California

  apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window

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  (415): apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window http://tfl.nu/1uz3
  Replies (9) Good night (3906) Bad night (1017)
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  (239): View more from Florida

  all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut

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  (239): all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut http://tfl.nu/x9ek
  Replies (14) Good night (3730) Bad night (1035)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?

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  (412): Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something? http://tfl.nu/z60e
  Replies (2) Good night (2498) Bad night (803)
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  (530): View more from California

  Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know

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  (530): Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know http://tfl.nu/b7cw
  Replies (4) Good night (554) Bad night (953)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."

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  (973): Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke." http://tfl.nu/posr
  Replies (5) Good night (2031) Bad night (738)
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  (320): View more from Minnesota

  No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple

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  (320): No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple http://tfl.nu/sc0u
  Replies (11) Good night (1825) Bad night (571)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.

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  (701): I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking. http://tfl.nu/71cy
  Replies (0) Good night (507) Bad night (354)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.

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  (570): You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it. http://tfl.nu/ka5y
  Replies (1) Good night (378) Bad night (317)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha

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  (774): Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha http://tfl.nu/rnub
  Replies (0) Good night (411) Bad night (382)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like

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  (203): Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like http://tfl.nu/xw18
  Replies (0) Good night (408) Bad night (269)
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  (518): View more from New York

  How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?

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  (518): How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video? http://tfl.nu/qafj
  Replies (3) Good night (584) Bad night (184)

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