Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.