Texts From Last Night

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  (301): View more from Maryland

  remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school

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  (301): remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school http://tfl.nu/dith
  Replies (36) Good night (3339) Bad night (597)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks

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  (908): We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks http://tfl.nu/lwab
  Replies (10) Good night (4250) Bad night (1528)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.

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  (337): Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things. http://tfl.nu/jc42
  Replies (9) Good night (1171) Bad night (3110)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.

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  (248): she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look. http://tfl.nu/ne7a
  Replies (14) Good night (850) Bad night (4479)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.

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  (540): She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic. http://tfl.nu/cwdw
  Replies (10) Good night (3682) Bad night (952)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.

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  (203): He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted. http://tfl.nu/pbp0
  Replies (10) Good night (2229) Bad night (607)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon

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  (603): Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon http://tfl.nu/opxd
  Replies (4) Good night (1254) Bad night (733)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??

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  (586): Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus?? http://tfl.nu/6jql
  Replies (5) Good night (1353) Bad night (516)
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  (347): View more from New York

  She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.

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  (347): She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school. http://tfl.nu/qubm
  Replies (5) Good night (1765) Bad night (516)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead

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  (302): It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead http://tfl.nu/d4qx
  Replies (3) Good night (919) Bad night (291)
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  (408): View more from California

  I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed

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  (408): I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed http://tfl.nu/4u9t
  Replies (0) Good night (504) Bad night (208)
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  (315): View more from New York

  I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.

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  (315): I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint. http://tfl.nu/31gg
  Replies (4) Good night (451) Bad night (264)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low

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  (802): I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low http://tfl.nu/lnwt
  Replies (2) Good night (383) Bad night (288)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.

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  (512): Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale. http://tfl.nu/qpyu
  Replies (1) Good night (570) Bad night (297)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.

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  (218): I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount. http://tfl.nu/edpp
  Replies (2) Good night (542) Bad night (276)

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