Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
