If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
well, you know. whores of a feather.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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