you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
