I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
