I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Randomize
