Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
