My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
i dont even know how to be here
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Randomize
