Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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