I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
