Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
