I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
