Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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