Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
