How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
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