I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
You may now shotgun with the bride
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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