Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
