oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
