Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
