you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
