We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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