remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
