I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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