I got chris browned last night
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Randomize
